a moment of wonder

i haven’t laughed as hard as i did last night in a long time.

we were sitting at the kitchen island and it was time for treat, but because neither daughter ate a decent dinner i said they could have a healthy snack instead of ice cream. after the protesting stopped, we ultimately decided on bread with nutella. a compromise. a combination.

M says, it’s a treat-snack. a “track”. i suggested maybe a “sneat” would be better. V (who turned 6 two saturdays ago) says, what’s a sneat? we explained that we took two words and combined them to make a new word. M says, you know, like how if you combine mom and pop, you get mop.

V says, what’s a mop?

i say, it’s mom and pop put together.

and the look on her face was pure amazement. her eyes got as big as saucers and i could see the wheels turning in her little brain to try to make sense of a mom-pop combination and what that would look like. 6 year olds can be pretty literal.

and i couldn’t stop laughing. i laughed so hard i cried. a perfect moment of wonder.

can you relate?

thanksgiving: a much overdue post

dear world,

we hosted thanksgiving dinner this year at our new house. my whole family came in for the week. both my sisters who live out of state and my grandma came down and we were joined my my mom, my uncle and his lady friend. all in all, including kids, we had 12 people!

M cooked the largest turkey we’ve ever had and as the night went on, the turkey got bigger and bigger to hear him tell the tale. it turned out beautifully!

i cooked just about everything else and i have to say i’m the most proud of the cranberry sauce. growing up, we ate the cranberry sauce that came out of the can with the little rings around it, sliced into a lovely glass serving dish. for the past couple of years, we made homemade cranberry sauce which was chunky and my family eyed it with distrust. this is not what we’re used to eating. this year, i made the ultimate compromise. homemade jellied cranberry sauce. folks ate it up.

food and wine’s cranberry sauce

i finally made something that looked like the picture.

my version

then, M started to make stock with the turkey carcass, but fell asleep putting V to bed. so at the end of the night, i finished my evening quietly.

feeling thankful,

cm

back to school

dear world,

V started kindergarten next wednesday. at the same time, i both cannot believe it and can’t believe it hasn’t already happened. she’s so smart.

we’ve spent the past week or so gathering school supplies: backpack, lunch bag containers, actual school supplies (crayons, etc.). i took V school shopping sunday to pick out school shoes and school clothes. 

i think i was more excited that she was. but, my babies are waking up. what do you do to get ready for back to school?

cm

reflections

dear world,

i recently went to a memorial service for a friend whose son had passed away. in fact, he died on my daughter’s 5th birthday. the son was grown and i had never met him, but i am close with the father.

i went to the visiting hours and stayed for the service. i’m glad i did. he gave me such a big hug. and he got up and spoke. i cannot express how proud and impressed i am that he could get up in front of friends and family and share stories about his son. i couldn’t have done it. i cried and cried.

and of course, i didn’t have any tissues. i did have one of V’s socks in my handbag which in case you were wondering, serves as an excellent tissue in a pinch. so here i am, sitting between two co-workers, sniffling into a sock.

i don’t know what i would do if i lost one of my girls. i might just curl up in a ball and never get out of the bed again. i am so amazed at my friend’s strength.

cherishing the good and the bad,

cm

phenomenal

dear world,

i’ve been in a workshop with 8 of my co-workers for the past 5 days and we have one more to go before we wrap up. it’s long, but terribly interesting.

today, we had to practice a type conversation that is part of my job. i ended up partnering with one of the facilitators whose opinions and ideas i respect very much. also, because this is part of my role at work, i rarely get feedback from someone who thinks about the conversation the way i do.

i received the scenario and gathered my thoughts about how to start the conversation and what i wanted to accomplish. and then we got started. the practice took the form of a role play which means i took on the role of one person and he took on the role of another. it’s a bit like play acting, but with no time outs. instead of saying, i would say such and such, i just say it and he responds as the character would. improv.

our conversation lasted a little longer than the time allowed, but we kept going. at the end, he gave me feedback. he told me that i did a phenomenal job. he used the word phenomenal several times to describe my skills in the conversation and amazing at least once or twice. i feel so proud of myself.

i find it so reassuring that people find me to be capable in the role that i hold and that i can create an environment with a near stranger that allows the kind of conversation i hope for to occur.

feeling pretty good,

cm

i just need some raisins

dear world,

this morning, V requested oatmeal and banana for breakfast. no problem. oh, except she usually has raisins in her oatmeal and we finished the raisins last night for snack. so, i give her a bowl of oatmeal and a whole banana and just pretend like its going to be fine.

nope. not fine. mommy, can i have some raisins please? no, we’re out of raisins. commence crying. wailing is probably a more accurate description. then, she threw her banana on the floor which scared N who started crying. now we have 2 children crying in solidarity over the misery that is a morning without raisins.

in my brilliant brain, i searched for a way out. then, more practically, i searched the cupboard and *halleluiah* i found a new container of raisins.

peace and the eating of breakfast returned to my dining room.

wondering why raisins,
cm

kitchen picnic

dear world,

we are planning to put our house on the market in one week. which means we’re having all the work done now to make it beautiful for a new buyer. on the list are painting the inside walls, clearing out half our stuff, having the tub re-glazed and having  a professional clean it all up. (make no mistake, we clean, but not like a pro.)

the house painters started working on our downstairs yesterday. they put the living room back together, but didn’t have time to put the dining room back together before they left. which meant that a large tarp covered our table and chairs. our only table and chairs. this wasn’t a problem last night because we just took the kids out to dinner, but it presented a bit of a problem this morning.

so, the girls and i had a breakfast picnic on the kitchen floor. V, N and i all sat down on the rug with our cereal and banana and enjoyed our breakfast. we even listened to some music. it turned out to be quite pleasant and the girls thought it was a great adventure.

making lemonade,

cm

the end of medical leave

dear world,

i’ve been alternately at work and on medical leave this year. starting in june, i’ve had 6 weeks off 6 weeks on almost 3 times. my final surgery was this past december 6th and i had my shortest hospital stay yet. my surgery was on thursday and i got to go home on saturday. i’m scheduled to be off through the new year. then it’s back to work and back to normal.

i’ve been trying to decide if i should travel with my family to NY the week between christmas and new years. i am on leave. MHM is a teacher so he’s on leave. this is one of the few times we have to go see everyone. and now, i have to decide if i’m going to go along.

there are several things to weigh in the decision. first and foremost, am i well enough to travel?

but that’s not a simple answer. i’ve travelled way sicker than i am right now, but do i want to risk the progress i’ve made to spend 8 hours in a car with my family? do i want to limit my diet so i feel ok while i’m there or do i want to spend my last week on leave stretching my limits before i have to go back to work? i know how to feel fine- i just don’t eat. but this time, is that the responsible choice?

i’m also going to miss spending a day along by myself. as much as i’ve been lonely and bored, i’ve enjoyed the restiveness of solitude. and it’s never going to come back. i’ll be full tilt for the next 18 years it feels like.

i’ve waffled and avoided making this choice until tonight. i think ultimately i have a responsibility to go. i can figure this health stuff out and choosing to stay by myself for a week to savor the time is just plain selfish. not really the christmas spirit and all that, you know?

happy christmas and safe travels to you all,

cm

evening haiku

driving home alone
listening to music, loud
enjoying myself

the baby blanket project

dear world,

i tend to be intermittently crafty. i get a really good idea! then i get all the supplies i need to execute my really good idea! and then i lose steam.

for example, when i learned my sister was pregnant, i went out a bought this beautiful fabric to make her a baby blanket. i got one pattern for the front, a flannel pattern for the back and i even got batting to put inside to make it nice and warm. (please note, i have never actually made a baby blanket with batting inside before. i usually just stitch two pieces of material together and call it a day.)

i guess with this being my first nephew, i thought i’d make something really special. i’m pretty sure i got all my supplies in the spring. my sister had her baby a week ago today. hooray!

now, i guess i’d better get to work on that blanket…

yesterday, i did so great. i quilted a little, i trimmed the edges, i even ironed it. i got it all ready for me to finish up today. i planned to use the quilt binding my mom suggested. i uncovered the sewing machine. i got out the iron and ironing board. i got it out the binding and looked at it. then i looked at my fledging blanket and realized that this plan would not work. i called the sewing shop and she told me what to do which involves me purchasing more material in order to make the binding myself. (also something i have never done before.)

i got in my car and realized: i have no gas. i have no money. i will have both those things tomorrow.

i got back out of my car, put everything away again and will try again tomorrow. however, i did go ahead and send my sister her happy baby card and a target gift card in case this turns out to be a christmas present instead. (or just too awful to give as a gift. what if it looks like somebody who has no idea what she’s doing made it?! what kind of auntie would i be then?)

haphazardly sewing,

cm