feeling like a good mom

dear world,

today i stayed home with V. yesterday when i picked her up from school, she was literally laying on the floor. the after-school care program teacher said she thought V was really tired. we took her temperature when we got home and it was over 101. 

today, she mostly watched tv. and to be fair, while we don’t usually let her watch much on the television, all i want to do when i’m sick is watch tv. i thought to myself, oh! i’ll get so much done, but she could barely hold her head up. i ended up sitting next to her most of the day. she finally started to perk up around 3pm.

at long last, the tv went on break. no more programs for at least an hour. she couldn’t decide what to do. painting? all the paints are on the sunporch and they’re frozen. play dough? frozen. something else? frozen. then she asked, well can’t we just make play dough? 

actually, yes.

fortunately, we had everything we needed to make play dough. specifically, purple play dough. we used the recipe found here and while ours didn’t look quite as awesome as hers, it certainly worked.

credit: thefabulousmomsguide.com

i substituted arrowroot for cream of tartar and i didn’t read all of the directions beforehand so rather than add water a little at a time, i dumped the whole cup in at once. this is not advisable. i had to add flour to thicken it up so it would stop sticking to my hands like glue. once we reached the proper flour ratio, i set her up with some cookie cutters and she went to town.

i feel like i totally nailed being a mom today. i managed to soothe my sick child and create play dough out of thin air (and flour and water and salt, etc). 

and both kids were asleep by 8:05pm. 

living the dream,

cm

the morning struggle to get out the door

dear world,

i saw this image on facebook the other day and thought, i can relate to that. we have a limited amount of time in the mornings to get up and have breakfast. the girls wake up around 6:45am and we leave the house around 7:45am to make 2 drop offs at 2 different schools and then i barely have enough time to make it to work.

this morning, N just fell to pieces. she normally wakes up super happy and runs into the bathroom to go potty on her pink potty. then we wash hands, get dressed and wake up V. not so this morning.

first, she didn’t want to wear pants. well, pants are not optional. you have to wear pants.

then, she didn’t want to go potty. not a big deal except she just cried and cried and cried. “no pants! no pants, mommy! no pull up, no pull up. different pull up”. finally, i *literally* wrestled her into a pull up and a pair of purple leggings which led to more crying. “no pants, no pants…”

eventually, we found two additional pull ups, tried each of them on until she found one that met her expectations. we went back to her room and she chose a hello kitty skirt. she calmly let me help her put it on no problem and the tears instantly dried up.

amazing,

cm

school lunches – it’s a marathon, not a sprint

dear world,

as this is the first year we’ve been responsible for providing lunch for V, i thought i’d look to the internet for help. i want V to eat well. i want V to have healthy choices. mostly, i just want her to eat what i pack. where to start?

well, the internet suggests about a million things and i kid you not, all these moms are making food that looks like owls for their kids school lunchboxes and i’m all like, oh shoot, i have to figure out what to pack for tomorrow and it’s 10pm.

last night, when this very thing happened, i wandered into the kitchen, stared deep into the fridge and decided on making her a quesadilla with peas on the side and threw in some leftover popcorn and a whole apple. then i almost burnt the quesadilla and totally exploded the peas all over the microwave. but, i think she’ll like it. it wasn’t pretty, but i covered my bases.

here’s what i learned:

1. land’s end makes a lunch box that wipes clean and fits enough food for lunch.
2. goodbyn makes a 3 section lunch holder and the stuff doesn’t leak into the other sections or the lunchbox (unless your child forgets to shut it when she’s done).
3. it’s hard to think of a variety of choices so you don’t end up with pb&j 3 out of 5 days
4. it’s kind of fun to use pretty toothpicks to hold a sandwich together

i went to a playdate/lunchbox party with some friends and got some good ideas. i bought a cookbook that is *fairly* optimistic in packing suggestions. for example, V thinks lettuce is only for grown-ups- kind of like coffee and wine, and this cookbook suggests things like skewers with tomato, fresh mozzarella, bread pieces and fresh basil.

and then, today, i read a post about the pinterest bitches who stay up to 4am making totally over-the-top stuff for back-to-school time. i’m thinking i can settle down. V is fed. she’s excited about what’s in her lunch and she loves her “coffee cup” which will keep milk cold for 7 hours.

happy eating,

cm

ps – the second week of school, V very specifically asked for lunch money so she could buy her lunch at school including strawberry milk. oh well.

 

kindergarten is hard

dear world,

this afternoon, i received an email from V’s kindergarten teacher informing me that V had simply decided to wander out of class and explore the school because it was too loud during a lesson. another teacher found her and returned her to her class.

1. seriously? my daughter is in big trouble!

2. seriously? my daughter could escape unnoticed from your class and another teacher had to bring her back?!

i rearranged my schedule and met first with the teacher and then with V and the teacher together to reinforce the unavoidable fact that she is required to stay with her class. we had a good meeting and i understand the challenge of managing 22 5 -6 year olds, but i’m still kind of struggling with not being totally frustrated by the situation.

1. how is it my kid that decides to just leave class?

2. how did you not know that 5 year olds will test your limits?

ultimately, i think no one told V that making the choice to leave class without permission is unacceptable. now she knows and i feel pretty confident that she won’t make that choice again. but goodness, what’s next? what thing am i forgetting as an adult that isn’t obvious to a young person?

and why does her teacher’s perkiness drive me (just a little) nuts?

she’s very perky. in the midst of a serious discussion about why i felt scared when i didn’t know where she was, V commented something and the teacher literally turned her head so V wouldn’t see her laughing at her response. and i’m using literally in the actual sense, not the new webster’s dictionary sense.

teaching is hard. teachers deserve better pay, more resources and a voice in how to educate young people. i will support this however i can in terms of reinforcing rules, suggesting appropriate choices and so on. but, i , too, could use a little back up, here.

candidly,

cm

i know it’s a phase, but that doesn’t make it better

dear world,

with both kids in new schools, our routines have shifted utterly and completely. N cried every morning for a week when we dropped her off at school and now she’s fine. i get a wave and maybe a hug and off she goes playing with her friends.

V is doing so great in kindergarten, but still struggling with choosing to do something she doesn’t want to do. i read somewhere that kids only have so many minutes of good behavior per day and in all honesty, i’m glad she spends them at school, but it can make for some messy home times.

we had a terrible settle down last night. she yelled, she kicked, she screamed at the top of her lungs. mostly because it was time to go potty and brush teeth before reading books and bed. but she just couldn’t. her little body and mind were so overtired that she fell to pieces. finally, after she eventually calmed down, i told her how much i like spending time with her and how much i would prefer to spend time with her when she felt happy and acted nicely  instead of yelling and kicking and screaming. i’m sure some of this is a desire for attention, but the presentation is really awful.

and then, to top it all off, i thought i’d pick her up from school today instead of having her go to the aftercare and spend some one on one time together. and after she fell out, she finally told me that she’d rather go to y-club and play for a while.

it’s a deal.

i know it’s a phase. i know it will pass. i feel utterly resigned to waiting her out each night for the next however many nights until she works through this. i hope it passes quickly. this sounds terribly morose and in fairness to V, i should also mention how amazing it is to watch her play school with N every evening after dinner. they have centers and take field trips and do art. it’s fantastic to see her parrot her teacher like this. and then it shifts out of pretend and real life is a bummer sometimes. i mean really, who wants to quit playing and go to sleep?

waiting it out,

cm

just another thursday morning

dear world,

all ready for school!

this morning, V woke up at 6:15a. now, usually, i have from 6:30a-6:45a to get myself together in terms of packing lunches, putting on work clothes, having a cup of coffee in the quiet before the chaos. not today.

then, after breakfast, as we’re rushing around trying to get out the door for work and school, it got a little out of order. i asked the girls to put on their socks and shoes, but suddenly i have to pee. not like, i’l wait until i get to work, but i have to pee now. i head to the bathroom where N repeatedly attempts to climb in my lap. then my nose starts running. finally, with backpacks on and lunches in hand i turn to lock the door and realize i’m barefoot. the kids do in fact have shoes on, but i don’t.

seriously? i win. i still made it to work on time.

how do you manage the morning chaos?

cm

travel strategy

dear world,

i am travelling for work at the moment. i realized i haven’t flown in a while when i had the option to use my phone as my boarding pass. it was amazing. i didn’t have to go to kiosk to print anything. i just scanned my phone. i feel so out of touch for not knowing this is how we do things now.

yesterday, i got up at 4:45am to get ready and make it to the airport for my flight to chicago. since i’m only here for one overnight, i packed light. my strategy involved choosing (comfortable) pants with pockets, one pair of shoes that match both outfits i brought and remembering to bring my inside sweater. total success.

now, i must find a special treat for each person in my family. V expressed quite specifically her excitement about having 1 present for her, 1 for N and 1 for M. you mean we don’t have to share? to be fair, i wanted her to go to sleep so i committed. but, my meeting starts at 10:30am this morning so i’ll be bringing treats from o’hare. no time to stop at the toy store downtown. she’ll never know.

red lentil cake

i took myself out to dinner last night. it felt a little awkward as i was the only person there dining alone, but i had an excellent meal. i went to sable which is all small plates. i started with truffled deviled eggs which it turns out i don’t actually like. then, i had 2 spicy scallops and i thought i would have risotto to finish, but they couldn’t take out the dairy. the server suggested a red lentil cake. i took 2 bites, but it had too much cinnamon in it and the server offered to take it back. i ended up having house-made honeydew-lime sorbet. so good.

i wore a dress. i took a cab. i made my own little night of it. and none of my clothes were any worse for wear after having spent the day in my bag. travel strategy success!

best of all, i woke up early to be able to talk to the girls on facetime this morning. i’m going to get back after bedtime tonight so i won’t get to see them until tomorrow morning.

missing my girls,

cm

my morning commute

dear world,

i realized on my drive in this morning how much i miss splitting my commute. before we moved, before the summer, i would pile the girls in the car, listen to children’s music (their choice) and have random silly conversations on the way to school. i would drop them off and drive the last 5 minutes by myself listening to the news.

now, it’s so quiet.

from the new house, it takes about 14-20 minutes to get to work depending on the traffic. as i sat in my car, surrounded by other cars, with one ear on the news story, i realized what was missing. i miss the chatter. i miss the singing along. i miss the questions about whatever it is that we’re looking at. i miss pointing out the flowers and trucks and trains and airplanes in the sky.

even after school starts again this fall, V’s kindergarten is 2 minutes from the house and N’s daycare is 2 minutes the other way. then, my commute looms ahead of me.

to be clear, there are morning when i will revel in the 20 minutes of alone time, but that didn’t happen today. loving my ladies,

cm

why i don’t go to the grocery when i’m hungry

dear world,

tonight, i’m in huntington, wv for work. it’s the first overnight i’ve had by myself in ages. usually, i’m thrilled and looking forward to a night by myself and a shower as long as i want. this trip, the kids were a disaster this morning and i nearly left without my phones because i felt so flustered.

after a 3 hour drive, i worked all day and finally knocked off around 7pm. rather than go sit at a restaurant by myself or swing through a drive through, i thought, i’ll go to the grocery. how economical of me.

you’ll never guess what i came away with:

after staring at the wall of salad greens and remembering i don’t have a knife, i grabbed a bag of pita chips, a small log of goat cheese, hummus, salami, potato salad and a bottle of wine.

seriously? i have no refrigerator in my room and enough food to fill 4 people. what a ridiculous hodge-podge of dinner.

winning,

cm

why is parenting so surprising?

dear world,

i read two different posts today about parenting. one written by a mother surprised at her pre-parent and post-parent behaviors and the other by a father of 3 boys under the age of 5 reminiscent of the momastery article that stood out to me last year.

these three articles all admit that parenting is hard and that it’s ok to be frustrated by it sometimes. in the article about behaviors, she writes that she never thought she would be the mother with one screaming kid under each arm heading out of the store. i’ve been there. why on earth do we think that our children will behave flawlessly at all times? as adults, we certainly do not behave flawlessly.

the father writes

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do. She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.

You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.

You are not a terrible parent if you’d rather be at work.

You are not a terrible parent if you just can’t wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

You’re not a terrible parent.

i remember when i went back from maternity leave after N was born and another mother asked me if i was looking forward to some quiet time. i have to say i honestly was. i dreamed that i would write while i was on leave and i barely took a shower. i never thought my back seat would be filled with random goldfish and sippy cups from who knows when. in fact, right now, my car is still full of all the stuff we took on our trip to PA. last saturday. toys, snacks, the magnadoodle- it’s all still there just waiting for me.

as i mentioned earlier this week, my big kid has forgotten how to listen. my baby hit the terrible twos about  a month ago and hasn’t looked back and she’s only 20 months. but, i do my best. M does his best. and in the end, i think our lovely ladies will turn out just fine.

still trying to do my best (even when i just want them to go to sleep already),

cm