when you finally have time with each other…

dear world,

i am reading the new barbara kingsolver book now called flight behavior. i really like it. i’ve read pretty much everything else she’s written and it’s a welcome change for me from reading the mary russell series. in fact, it’s like the opposite of mary russell.

the thing that stands out in my mind today is a sentiment she shared in her novel. i read it last night or maybe this morning. part of the story is about a married couple and they haven’t spent much time with each other over the last 10 days. she wrote that at especially at the times when you most need to spend time with each other is the time you default right into an argument.

and here comes my life. i got the call from baby n’s school today around noon that she wasn’t well. MHM had said he’d be available after 11am for just in case. i called him first. he was out to lunch with friends and didn’t have his car. it would be an hour before he could get her. i called my mom and she had plans, but was willing to cancel. then i remembered that the caregiver who has been coming in the mornings to help us out was available until 1pm. i called her and she could come by and help me get baby  N into the house. it took me several calls and much arranging of people’s lives to pick up my little girl.

the first thing MHM says when he comes in the door is, “why didn’t you get V, too?” and it just went from there. it’s been a solid argument since 1:3pm. ugh.i even offered to let him go out after settle down to go be someplace else for a while, but he didn’t go. now, i feel like he’s just sitting here being pissed off that i ruined his lunch needed him to help me and no one behaved very well today. he said, no, he’s not upset. no, he’s not resentful. his actions say otherwise.

when you finally have time to spend with each other it just ends up in an argument.

candidly,

cm

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