illness and recovery

dear world,

i have to have a surgery a week from monday. it’s a pretty big deal and i’ll be off work for about 6 weeks depending on how speedily my body can heal. the doctor says that i’ll go from feeling bad to feeling great, except for the tired. i’ll be really wiped out for a while.

the biggest challenge for me is that in order to heal properly, i should not push, pull or lift anything for a good while. (i think 6 weeks, but i have to check with the nurse to make sure.) this means i basically cannot be alone with our kids until that time limit is up. i can hold them, i can love them, i can play with them. i cannot pick them up. i cannot get the baby out of bed.

since i’ll be off work for so long, i’m expecting i’ll have lots of time to write. and i have a list of things i’ve been meaning to write about, but simply haven’t had the time. i guess i’ll be making the time in 10 days.

i’m just not sure how i’m going to feel being the mom and not being able to care for my family. it’s a weird anticipation. i don’t know if it’ll be easy because i’ll be so incapacitated or if it’ll be more like the full-body exhaustion i felt after the baby was born. i remember one day i felt fine and MHM and i cleaned the house and i made myself ill by the evening because my body just wasn’t ready for that level of activity.

i am hopeful that i’ll be all fixed up on the other side of this and that will make this middle section all worth it.

seriously hoping,

cm

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