i adore my children, really, i do

dear world,

i realized that i’ve shared a great deal of my frustration with my little ones recently. i come by it honestly. we’ve had some trying times lately in the behavior department. but, i love my children. i really do.

i read a blog post this week called don’t carpe diem that really struck a cord with me. the author speaks about the women with grown children who come up to her in the line at target and tell her to cherish every moment- it just goes by so fast. i don’t know about you, but i always feel a little bitter when these women say this stuff to me. i know i should enjoy it, but it’s not always easy when your kid flat out refuses to put her coat on and it’s snowing outside. and you really do have to go and you’re pretty sure her shoes are coming off next. but you’re not supposed to feel bitter and she talks about this feeling so well.

she also writes an obvious truth: parenting is hard. we don’t think about this very often because everyone has kids and everyone raises them. it’s just what you do. seriously, though, it’s really hard to do a good job.

the part that stands out the most is when she discusses time:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It’s regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there’s Kairos time. Kairos is God’s time. It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. It’s those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

i had one of those moments tonight. as i sat on the sofa, holding the baby after she ate, i looked over at V. she was watching diego and rocking in her rocking chair that she got for christmas. diego was telling us to “shake, shake” and she shook her little self. it was super sweet. she wasn’t showing off. she wasn’t being stubborn. she was so into the program that her whole body followed along. i love that.

choosing to cherish the magical moments,



2 Responses to “i adore my children, really, i do”

  1. 1 Sandra F January 10, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    Hey CM, Thanks for sharing your honesty and frustration. I sometimes think that there’s a certain amount of secret schadenfreude mixed in with the empathy that most people have when they see us struggling with the day to day challenge of trying to be a good positive parent. It’s somehow reassuring when you get to witness other children behaving as bad (or preferably a little worse) than you your own, it usually gives me the reassurance I need that I am not the only parent struggling to get it right, that not everyone is a supermom or dad.
    On those special moments Kairos time – you are totally right they are the moments that make me realize just why being a parent can be the greatest thing that can happen in your life.

    (see my post on Thanksgiving for one of those great moments in my life http://momontheside.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/early-start-for-thanksgiving/)

    • 2 candidlymommy January 11, 2012 at 3:06 pm

      i think you’re right- just sharing our experience as a mother trying to get it right can help. i spoke with my husband’s step-sister this morning who is struggling with her 3 month old without a community of other mothers to offer support. it helps knowing the frustration comes with the good parts, though not always in equal proportion. thanks also for sharing your post.

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