looking forward to looking back

dear world,

people always say how quickly kids grow up and we should really cherish these times when they’re all young and sweet. i have to tell you, i’m really looking forward to looking back on this year. i’m hoping my memory will cloud (or frankly erase) some of the madness we’re currently experiencing. let me tell you about yesterday:

my mother has been asking to take V for a day since the new baby was born and we agreed that yesterday would be a good day. we took her over to nana’s after second breakfast and spent the day quietly at home, just me, MHM and N. we cleaned a little, took a walk, took care of the baby. nana and V came back around 4:30pm and we planned dinner for 6pm, not remembering at all about the time change.

i tried something new for dinner and since N was fussy, i cooked with her in the front pack carrier. i made carnival and delicata squash stuffed with rice, lamb, rosemary and cranberries. it sure looked good.

as soon as we sat down at the table, N woke up screaming. not little cries to say, hey mommy, i’m awake and hungry. she belted out giant ear splitting cries to say something more like, hey, why haven’t you fed me, i’m starving, the world is ending unless i get milk in the next 10 seconds.

V took her signal from N and ate her pear and nothing else. then she proceeded to fall out. she did donkey kicks on the sofa (dangerous behavior). she cried, she whined. at this point, N is done eating and now screaming again like i’ve poisoned her. i’m sitting on the sofa, my uneaten dinner is sitting on the table in the dining room, N is on my knee wailing. MHM is sitting next to me. V is on the floor wailing.

nana went home. V watched a program and calmed down. N eventually calmed down. MHM eventually got V into bed. i eventually ate dinner.

i feel like we could have given V a better chance to be successful, but i forgot about the time change. she’s always so amped after a visit to nana’s that a complete meltdown should not have been a surprise. it’s just awful when they’re both throwing a fit at the same time. i want to cover my ears and close my eyes and wait until they’re finished. but i don’t do that. i feed the baby and calm her down. i do my best with V to help her get off whatever loop she’s stuck in and on to something more productive. i don’t know how i’m going to do bedtime by myself.

ready to move to the next phase,

cm

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