second baby baby shower?

hello world,

today, my mother asked me if i wanted a baby shower. “you know, you didn’t have one before.” yes, mom. i know. i remember.

and i do remember. i felt disappointed and surprised and kind of bummed that i didn’t get to share in the same kind of anticipation and celebration that we treat new mothers to. two were actually scheduled and i just didn’t stay pregnant long enough to attend.

but now i’m not so sure i want to go through the motions. i always thought the point of a shower, beyond the celebration, was to disperse the expense and challenge of gathering enough stuff to adequately take care of a new person. oh, and to get the stuff that other moms know you’ll need, but you have no idea yet. because how could you? you’ve never done this before.

and here lies my current uncertainty. i have done this before. i don’t need any stuff and i really don’t need any more moms telling me how to do it. on the other hand, i like the idea of celebrating and anticipating something happy and new and wonderful with people who wish me well. it’s unnerving to be the focus of so much goodwill, but i think everyone needs it every once in a while.

on the fence,

cm

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